She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
