Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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