That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
