so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
