like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
