remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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