I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
