We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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