he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
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