i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
We need a shit load of segways right now
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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