At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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