i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
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