So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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