he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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