pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
