I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Randomize
