It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
