I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
