she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
