its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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