So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Randomize
