My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize