Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
