Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
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