Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize