Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
