The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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