I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Just cropdusted the office
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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