Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
