Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
