sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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