I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
I'm really busy with my period
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