I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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