Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
