Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
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