They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
