Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
