yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
