threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
