1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
