escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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