I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
