I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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