Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
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