I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
