You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
