we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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