Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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