Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
