my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
be right there i have to get my cape
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
