i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Randomize
