Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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