It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
