it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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