OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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