the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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