i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Little spoons don't ask big questions
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize