the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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