So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
