I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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