Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
