I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
