I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
i've created a new STD.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
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