Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
