I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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