so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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